Wednesday, October 10, 2007

For the Members of iPod Nation Who Think Their Wee Piece of Modern Technology Is Oh So Cool

This story is for you. Your iPod isn’t so much cool as it is hot, like your hoo-ha is about to get after carrying it around in your pants’ pocket. Who needs an iPod skin with flames on it when you can have the real thing?

iPod Nano Catches Fire in Pants

An Atlanta man has claimed that his Apple iPod Nano, which he was carrying in his pant pocket, suddenly caught fire while he was at the airport. The man, Danny Williams, who works at the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport, said his two-year old iPod suddenly caught fire that lasted for about 15 seconds with the flames reaching well up to his chest.

Luckily for Williams, he escaped burns, which he attributes entirely to the protection offered by the glossy paper lying in his pant pocket along with his iPod. 

Apple has not commented on this unfortunate incident as yet; however, the company has asked Williams to send them the affected iPod for examination purposes. Even Apple iPods contain Lithium-ion batteries -- the same kinds that have recently been in the news off-and-on for catching fire unawares. Since December of 2005, millions of such batteries have been recalled by various PC manufacturers including Dell and Lenovo for incidents of overheating and catching fire.

Serves you young ‘uns right for shoving headphones into your ear canals so that you can avoid all forms of social contact with other people in public places. My generation had Sony Walkmans, and you didn’t see us gluing them to our heads while grocery shopping or using the bathroom. Maybe Apple wired the iPods to spontaneously combust whenever they are forced to play Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, or any of that other pap that you call “music” these days.

I think this is an appropriate moment to insert a new twist on an old Whoopi Goldberg joke.

Young clueless punk #1: “I smell hair burning.”

Young clueless punk #2: “Dude, maybe your iPod is on fire!”

By the way, did anyone ever hear of a good ol' Sony Walkman spontaneously combusting? NOPE. 'Nuff said.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Like This Post? Share It!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...