Sunday, June 14, 2009

Marianne the Librarian's Tips for Making Any Man "Head Over Heels" About You

Marianne the Librarian* clearly has something going on to be pursued so relentlessly...by the lead singer of an 80s band, no less. Clearly, these must be her secret weapon tips of seduction...now pay attention, ladies:

Rule #1 (well, we *are* in a library, so there's going to be rules): Never stop presenting yourself as the cold a$$ b*tch that you are. That means no smiling; don't even give any potential gentleman friend the slightest hint of a smirk. The more deadpan and dour, the better.

Rule #2: Don't have any time for fun and games. If anyone tries to pull funny by waving a toy gun in your face, pinch his nose - hard!

Rule #3: Don't show any skin. Always keep your shirts buttoned up all the way to the top. He'll wonder what you're hiding.

Rule #4: Tuck your hair behind your ears and wear oversized, dorky glasses. So sexy.

Rule #5: Always keep a synthesizer at your handy disposal. What better way to impress the keyboard player in the band?

Follow these tips, and you'll have that boy serenading you, following you around like a puppy dog, and floating up through the air towards that huge "SILENCE" sign.

Want to see the evidence that this works? The video was not allowed to be embedded, but click here to see it (and don't be surprised if he falls for you "head over heels.")

* I do not have anything against librarians. In fact, I'm good friends with one. I am just baffled as to why any man would find this particular one worth his trouble.

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