Friday, February 01, 2013

Go Retro's Retro Hottie of the Month: Christoph Waltz

Photo via Oblige me tumblr
Last weekend I saw Django Unchained in the movie theater; a few weeks ago I watched Inglorious Basterds on cable. Now I'm in love and it's all Christoph Waltz's fault. For too long the Austrians and Germans were keeping this sexy, talented, Austrian man all to themselves (and who can blame them?) until Quentin Tarantino pulled him out of obscurity and introduced him to American audiences. He won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Inglorious Basterds and may very well take home another for Django. With the Academy Awards taking place later this month, and the recent announcement that he'll be hosting Saturday Night Live on February 16, I can't think of a better time to declare Christoph as Go Retro's Retro Hottie of the Month. 

By now you're probably wondering, "Wait a minute…is Christoph retro?" Oh yes, very much so. Christoph is, amazingly, 56 years old…which means there's oodles of "before he was famous" clips of him out there on the Internet. (Although I think he's way more handsome today.) 

Also, this may help explain Christoph's retro-ness. This is how one fan describes his appeal:

"The man has "Old School" charm. He is suave, sophisticated, and a gentleman. He is VERY appreciative of his "new found' fame. He epitomizes the Classic Hollywood Gentleman that is missing in a lot of today's actors (he has been known to give women his jacket when it is cold outside)."

That sounds about right to me. Are you ready to dip into some Teutonic hotness from decades past?

One of Christoph's earlier roles was that of the German singer Roy Black in a TV biopic called Die Roy Black Story. Roy Black was a very popular German singer in the 70s and 80s who started out trying to be a rock star, but gained notoriety when he switched over to love songs.

The black wig doesn't do anything for Christoph, but he really did sing in the movie, and I uncovered some priceless moments. For example, here's Christoph--as Roy--doing his best John Travolta impersonation and showing off some serious dance moves while driving the frauleins wild:

I have no idea what show this clip is from, but apparently it's from some German children's show, and Christoph appears to be a teen in it, and--oh, my! That knitted unitard! It leaves nothing (and everything--ha ha!) to the imagination. 

Now this clip was so hot and sensuous my laptop started to bend. It's from a 1982 German movie or miniseries called Fire and Sword. Christoph appears in all his naked glory. I have no idea who the peeping Jane is who comes into the love nest--but the couple is oblivious...and honestly, I think I would be, too, if I had Christoph making love to me. 

Christoph also appeared on a German series called Kommissar Rex. The episode was called Der Puppenmorder ("the doll murderer") and features Christoph as a creepy doll shop owner who entices female customers to dress up as life size dolls so he can photograph them. If they don't oblige, he strangles them. Hmmm...sounds like training for his Hans Landa character years later...and yet, the idea of dressing like a doll for Christoph and taking orders from him seems pretty enticing to me. Here's part 1 of the episode--I highly recommend watching the opening credits; they're delightfully cheesy and that dog clearly steals the show!

Also, remember that video clip of the Russian singer who became known as the "Trololololo" guy after a strange performance of him singing on 1970s Russian television circulated around the web a couple of years ago? Christoph put his own hilarious spin on it called Der Humpink. I think he's going to be a natural at hosting SNL. Is there nothing this man can't do?

Pretty smoking back in the day...but even hotter today in my honest opinion. Better with age!
Photo via
Something tells me we'll be seeing a lot more of Christoph on American movie screens. 


  1. The minute I saw that first picture the words that came into my head were 'old world charm'! Yeah, he's pretty darn cool. Thanks for sharing this; it's fun to see the varied things an actor has to do before they're 'a name'.

  2. Shame on you, Germany, for hiding him from us. What else are you hiding? Flying cars? Hmph.

    I love him. He is a brilliant villain, he's funny, and in his most recent movies (I didn't really like Inglorious Basterds or Django all that much; Water for Elephants was decent) his gorgeous smile and piercing eyes still manage to make me swoon. I didn't know about him hosting SNL but suddenly I care about that show a lot more than I used to!

  3. Thanks, ladies, for your comments!

    I read a quick article in the Daily Mail yesterday that was written by a British friend of Christoph Waltz (he used to live in London at one point.) He said he used to always say that it was too late for him to be a well known actor since most American actors make it big by 25 or 30 years old. How things have changed for him--good for him! Such an inspiration that you're never too old for anything, although it's amazing to think he's 56 years old; he looks easily 15 years younger.

    Desiree -- I want to see Water for Elephants and yet I don't because I know he plays a mean man in it. I'm sure I'll catch it on cable at some point. I'm a bit ashamed to admit I thought he was the sexiest film Nazi I've ever seen.

  4. He was cute when he was younger but to be honest I think he got much more hotter with age. God knows what I'd do if I were stuck in a private, dark room alone with him...


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