Saturday, September 10, 2016

Why I Don't Like Texting


A few months back I blogged about why I still feel men should pay for the meal on a first date, and how women shouldn't chew out men that hold doors open for them. Today I feel compelled to talk about why I don't really dig texting, particularly as it pertains to dating (although truth be told I'm not a fan of using it as a form of communication in general.)

First of all, there's no doubt that the mobile phone is one of the most important inventions so far known to mankind; I've had one ever since the early '90s when they were still on the clunky side so I'd be a hypocrite if I said I didn't appreciate the device. However, in the 20+ years that I've owned a mobile phone, I've used them mostly when absolutely necessary; calling AAA or so that a friend could reach me on route to meeting up, or vice versa.

And in my opinion, when a mobile phone was just a mobile phone, we were all a lot more better off. It was when the Internet and texting capabilities were added to them that things really went south. Now you've got a bunch of walking zombies that are transfixed by something on their screens, so much so that some people have fallen off subway platforms and tripped into public fountains because they were so distracted. Or they walk into oncoming traffic because they're hunting a Pokemon.

People sit in restaurants and instead of talking to the company they're with, their eyes are glued to their phone. Maybe they're checking work email -- or maybe they're surfing for porn across the table from their spouse; who knows. Either way there's no doubt what a number this little piece of technology is doing to our ability to communicate and form human connections.


Which brings me to texting. A common complaint that seems to be floating out there in the dating world is that people will text each back and forth but never actually set up a date. Or that people use it to break up with someone. Or they use it to summon a booty call.

I hate texting. I don't have a Blackberry or a phone that uses a slide-out keyboard. I have a Samsung (and you can all breathe easy; mine is old -- I don't have the new Galaxy that is spontaneously combusting on people. Sadly, my interest in it was piqued because Christoph Waltz was schilling it in commercials.) The screen size is literally two and a half inches wide by one and a half inches high. I don't have one of those little toothpick things; I have to use my index finger or thumb. Whenever I text I feel like an elephant trying to play the piano. About 50% of the time I hit the wrong key. Being the anal speller that I am, I always feel compelled to delete and correct the mistake. What a painfully long and tiring experience it is to tap out a message on that stupid thing; I might as well use Morse code.

I've even seen online profiles so poorly written by men and riddled with errors that I could just tell they composed them using their phone. I even got a message one time that sounded like a mentally challenged person wrote it. When I told the guy I couldn't understand at least half of what he had written, he responded that he had typed it on his phone. (Face palm.)

Why anyone would want to try to text a stranger to get to know them while dating is beyond me. Just pop open your laptop, and bang out a proper email. Better yet, man (or woman) up and pick up that phone dammit, and call them!


And when I'm dating, if I met them online, I want to hear their voice. I made the mistake one time of not asking to speak on the phone first with a date from Match.com years ago. He turned out to have a stutter that got worse as the date went on (he also checked out literally every female that crossed his path, so please don't go PC on me and say I'm cruel or picky because I failed to find a guy with a bad stutter attractive! Besides, he also should been truthful and revealed it in his profile.)

Speaking on the phone is intimate. Trying to bang out messages like, "Hy bae, do u wanna met up?" is not.

Now don't get me wrong: texting can be fun once you're in relationship mode. That's when it serves as a more appropriate mode of communication; when you use it to send cutesy messages (or sexting) to one another. But not when you're trying to get to know somebody. It's cumbersome and seems like the lazy ass's easy way out of forming a stronger human connection by speaking on the phone.

If I ever venture into online dating again, I'll be upfront about no texting until we get to know each other better first. It's the best way to weed out the guys that may be too addicted to their mobile devices, anyways. Go retro...and bring back the more traditional methods of communication.

12 comments:

  1. Never been crazy about texting period. My LG phone is not the easiest thing to type on anyway. I can see having an online chat with a woman, I have enjoyed several and couple of times I've gone on to meet the person and we've become friends. But I would rather write something I've thought out and e-mail than wander through some silly text...About the only thing I would text for is if I'm on the way to meet her and got hung up in traffic. If I'm interested in a woman I want to have a conversation with her.

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    1. That's smart, Jeff. I meant to add that texting is why we have stupid hook up apps like Tinder, where words don't matter so much as whether the person looks shagable.

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  2. I'm old school--I've never sent a text, I use my flip-top cellphone for talking only! Anything else can wait until I get to my laptop :)

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    1. Doug, sometimes I wish I still had my old flip-top! I held onto mine until my wireless network changed ownership yet again (It used to be Cingular) and the phone would no longer work on it.

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  3. Pam I couldn't agree with you more. Testing may be okay for short and glib messages that aren't that important, but unless you actually TALK to a person, you haven't made a connection. I don't know how many times I have to reprimand my kids about sending me texts when they are trying to get a hold of me. If it is important - CALL!!

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    1. Agreed. I also don't check my phone that often to see if someone sent me a text. They have a better chance of reaching me on it if they call.

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  4. Not quite the same thing, but apropos of the whole boy-girl communication problem: I'm reminded of a girl I liked in seventh grade who knew I liked her, but would only talk to me with notes: long, handwritten notes about her feelings, my feelings, etc. I thought the whole thing odd and certainly no way to carry on a relationship. But we were 12!

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    1. LOL, Rich -- it sounds like the young lady was ahead of her time!

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  5. It seems in this case I'm more old school than you, Pam. I've only ever had one cell phone and it's one I bought about 7-8 years ago and it still works perfectly, it's a small Samsung model with a very small color screen, maybe a couple of inches across. I use it to send and receive calls, as an alarm clock and I hardly ever text. Though the temptation has arisen to buy a smartphone I've so far been able to resist.

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  6. Well, I'm not a phone person. I have actually lived without a phone at all various times in my life. When my daughter offered to get us cellphones I declined her offer at first. But they told me about texting and picture messaging so I figured I'd try it out. I discovered texting is far less intrusive than a phone call. Obviously it's not for everyone, but it's a godsend for a phone phobic person like me. If you call me it will go to voicemail. A text I will answer. Even my boss texts me. Those couple of relatives who refuse to text call my wife instead. And she sends me a text....😊

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  7. I've never text in a day in my life, seriously. I have one of those $30.00 phones I purchased at Wal-Mart that are the pay-as-you-go type phone, so I use a phone card (seriously), thus I mostly use it for emergency or if I need to use it to call some place. It's actually a LG phone, but it's a Tracfone. 100 minutes last me about 4-5 months. LMBO.

    I don't have a smart phone, but it did come with a few apps like UNO (ha! ha!) and Google Maps etc, but nothing fancy.

    I think nowadays if someone isn't looking at their phone all the time (like myself) or barely uses it, they're looked upon as 'abnormal' I'll take being abnormal over looking like a zombie. :)

    Here's a picture of my phone. Very simple. LG840G (3g)
    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-X_UsM6GIpHk/UMjG5XAS0VI/AAAAAAAAAdk/HYgUlViaYnY/s1600/LG+840G.jpg

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  8. Ha Ha, I must be a real loser because I've got you all beat: I don't even HAVE a cellphone, and haven't had one for about three years now.
    Why, you might ask? Because I suppose that my life doesn't require one. What does this mean? Well, I'm not a monk but I just don't use a cellphone because it's just not my bag, baby. Pretty weird, huh? I live like it is 1990, except that I use the Internet as sparingly as I can. God forbid you will hear this from another 34 year old! With seven billion automatons on this planet, I suppose I'm fairly unique in an odd way.

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