Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Vintage Ads That Make You Go Blech!

We all know that sex sells, but what about content that can only be described as stomach churning? I apologize in advance for the eye and brain bleach you're about to need after viewing these charming vintage ads scoured from Pinterest...


"Hey, Bill, can I bum one of those fries?"
"Sure thing, pal."
"AAAAAAAAAAACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Bill: "Ah, you know what. Here, help yourself to all of them. Here, take my coffee and dessert, too."

Good grief, does this look like a scene out of The Exorcist, or what? And why is the guy whose meal is getting pelted with saliva smiling? "Never give a germ a break." Only ONE germ? I beg to differ!


Plop, putt, whiz, whiz, oh, what a relief it is! I can't think of a more humiliating modeling job than sitting on the john with your pants actually down around your ankles.


Can't think of anything worse than toothpaste made of bleach. Chlorox toothpaste...your tastebuds will hate you.


Between the two world wars, a crusade was launched against the humble house fly--this is just one of many ads educating residents about the dangers of having a "deadly"fly in your home. I would like to know just who Cole Pharmacy sold dead flies to...and by the pint, no less. Yuck!


I actually do like prunes. I just can't imagine having a "prune party." I hope their party was sponsored by Charmin.


Yes, misguided people really did devour tapeworms at one time to lose weight. I think she'd be better off with the prunes...


They could have at least found a more attractive male model to promote a product for body rash, especially when they're discussing his "groin irritation." Would be easier ad to look at if he had diaper rash instead.


Thirsty? Here, have some liquid meat sodium in a can. What was Campbell's ad men smoking? This makes the hot Dr. Pepper recipe (which was promoted in the 1960s) look like a glass of Dom Perignon.


Buttplugs! Get your buttplugs here!


Ayyyyyyyyyyy! Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't find The Fonz attractive...it's the double entendre copy in this ad--"put him on your back"--that kinda produced icky imagery. We'll leave these shirts for the Hooper triplets...


Oh no, Imodium didn't "go" there. Oh no, it did.


I've saved the best for last. I can't show the whole ad because it contains very mild nudity, but you can see it in its entirety here. When I read the tagline at the top I honestly thought, "I don't get it. What does douching have to do with apricots?" Then I saw the copy on the bottom. Oh, snap. Seriously the most twisted vintage ad I've ever seen...even more unsettling is the fact that the guy reminds me of Javier Bardem. I don't even want to think about what the other 15 flavors of this douche were that they made...but I sure hope one of them wasn't tuna.

4 comments:

  1. How do you sanitize a tapeworm?

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Clorox taste in your mouth? Oh, that had to be terrible. But you're right, the last one was a doosie. I'm surprised that one ever made it to print.

    Wait...I guess it is more accurate to say that I'm surprised ANY of them made it to print.

    Great post, Pam!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Apricot Flavored?? Bleech! I hope this was from Cosmo or Playboy because her see through shirt alone should get this ad an R rating.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't know what it was with prunes in the 60's & 70's! I like them too, but c'mon! The first dish we made in our 7th grade Home Ec class was stewed prunes. I remember coming home and telling my mom about it, and she said "why would 12-year-old girls need to know how to make that?!"

    ReplyDelete

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