The Original Ugly Sweater Contest

Thursday, December 15, 2011
WTF are we looking at here? I found this image over at a cool knitting blog called Craft Schmaft. It originates from a 1985 knitting book called Wit Knits. More like Nitwits. Let me collect my thoughts--it's pretty obvious that that is indeed a banana on the sweater, so you don't need to actually knit the word into the pattern. The nerd wearing it, however, is obviously confused, which is why he's holding up a pineapple. And what's up with the frog vest--does he want women to think that if they kiss him, he'll turn into a prince? Who the hell wears a sweater vest without a shirt underneath anyways? Maybe the piano man below knows the answer...I'm not sure why there are tassels attached to the sweater; makes it even uglier.
That's John Inman from Are You Being Served? above. He is perhaps the only man who could get away with modeling a teddy bear sweater.

Just another prime example of 80s awfulness. If anyone actually did own this book or knit anything from it, my sincere apologies.


  1. This reminds me of all the clothes I've gotten for Christmas over the years that I wouldn't be caught dead wearing...:)

  2. C'mon... the kitty cat jumper is rather cute ;-)

    In the same vein, you might also like the blog What Not To Crochet

    -- Nora

  3. I forgot to mention that I do love the kitty cat sweater. Even Vogue Knitting did a cat theme in the 80s. It was the fruit that threw me off! Graphics were really popular for 80s sweaters must have been the video gaming influence.

  4. Doesn't matter, gorgeous. We all have our likes and dislikes: one trailer-park-methhed sez a certain thing's cool, you may not agree (and vice-versa). C'est la guerre. Meet me in Heaven, girly. We’ll have a tonOfun for the length and breadth of eternity. On earth, grrr, we have whorizontal taxes - the death of U.S. Upstairs, however, we can fly: like a true, major’s child, we were born 2B wild [literally! Pop was USAF!!] God bless you. Love you.

  5. Wow - This must be celebrity knitwear of the 80s - What a find!

    Who would have thought back then that they would all have their own wikipedia pages by now?

    The guy at the top and the middle of the first set looks suspiciously like a young Christopher Biggins -

    The young lady in the middle appears to be a youthful Bonnie Langford -

    The gentleman in the yellow train sweater is Gyles Brandreth MP -

    I wish I could put a name to the lady next to him, she looks very familiar.

    The guy cutting a dash in the red piano sweater and scarf is Ian Botham -

    ...and of course, the late John Inman at the end -

  6. Watford Pat--Thanks for the info. The only one I knew was John Inman. Wish I could have found more photos from this book.


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