Modern Slang Words and Phrases I Can't Stand

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Modern culture will always be adding new words to the English vocabulary; that I can accept. After all, our parents and grandparents had to get accustomed to hearing words and phrases like "swell," "rad," "awesome," "that's a gas," "what's your bag," "far out," "psyche" and a multitude of others. 

However, with the rise of texting and text speak I'm afraid we're truly dumbing down the English language. Words are getting chopped up, mixed with numbers, sliced, and diced, all because some people are lazy think it sounds cooler and because they refuse to use any other method of communication on their mobile device, such as waiting to send a cohesive email message from their laptop. 

Because I rarely text, I'll admit that I'm out of the loop, a little square, and not hip (there's a few slang phrases for you) to what the kids today consider "cool" words. For example, a former coworker I'm connected to on Facebook recently vented her distaste for the use of the word "bae." (As I typed this just now, Blogger tried to auto correct first to the word "bar" then to the word "bad." Another inconvenient problem with making up nonsense words.)

I didn't even know bae meant so I looked it up. Don't these idiots using it know that bae is Danish for poop? I'm not kidding. It also sounds like the sound a sheep makes. However, bae in American slang language is short for baby, babe, sweetie, before anyone else, etc. It's a term of endearment! Really? Was typing and  pronouncing that second "b" in "babe" that much of an effort? Have we really gotten this lazy?

So, without further ado, here's a list of other modern words and phrases that I really just can't stomach for various reasons. Whatever happened to cool and daddy-o, anyway?

They stand for a "mother I'd like to bleep," "dad I'd like to bleep" and "grandfather/grandmother I'd like to bleep." Gross. Only they're not saying the word bleep. I just find the whole acronym awkward to pronounce (like the speaker has a lisp) and its blunt meaning offensive. I've seen teenage girls openly post it on YouTube videos of Christoph Waltz. Hate to break it to you young "ladies" (ahem) but Christoph wouldn't be caught dead with anyone using such a silly crap word. Trust me, if you're classy, you won't use this ridiculous word. 

Would you hit it?/I'd like to hit that/Mama gonna tap that
Another cheap, disgusting, offensive phrase referring to fornication that frankly, has always sounded a bit violent to me and really objectifies its human subject by referring to them as it or that.  You're not supposed to want to "hit" the person you want to make love to. Really? I prefer Austin Powers' phrase of choice: shagadelic. 

You only live once. So why not use proper English? Besides, us retro fans know that the acronym should really be YOLT - as in you only live twice. Thank you, Nancy Sinatra and 007. 

Later, b*tches!
Growing up, the B word was one of the worst things you could call a woman...after the C word, that is. Or it meant complaining or a female dog. But now it's used like a term of endearment. What's wrong with simply saying, "See you later, ladies"?

It's supposed to describe something that is highly cool and relevant, but in my opinion you are the original meaning of this word if you use it. 

Bros before hos
Referring to women as "hos" pretty much guarantees that you'll only be hanging with your bros. 

Throwing some shade
I prefer my late father's old saying, "putting the whammy (evil eye) on someone."

How much effort is required from the muscles in the human mouth to say "let me"? Rilly, is dis how laze we b'comin?

It means OK. Who knew. Why not just say/text OK? Too lazy to locate the O button (that is right above the K?)

I leave you with that age old question that Paul Lynde and Dick Van Dyke pondered: what's the matter with kids today? Who can understand anything they say?

What about you? Are there any modern slang words and phrases that you can't stomach, or leave you scratching your head? 


  1. Wouldn't lemme be in the same class as gonna, wanna, gotta, etc.? I didn't think that was a modern thing.

  2. The one I can't stand (and I don't know if it's hip or not) is when you tell someone what you'll be doing tomorrow or next week and they reply:

    "Sounds like a plan!"

    It IS a plan! That's why I said it! Don't make it sound like I don't know what I'm doing yet!

    I wish they'd just say "Okay" or "Good" or "See you then!"

  3. I make an effort to include words like, "Hip", "Far Out", and "Groovy" in everyday conversation just to bug my kids.

  4. Your pet peeve is my pet peeve, I must say. I live in a place that, until about ten years ago, was called the Bay Area. It's an area around a bay where lots of cities are located, as I'm sure you've sussed. The hep cats of today like to refer to it as 'the Bay'. Ex: I'm living in the Bay. I always think when I hear this is, Oh, so you've grown gills? -bugs me.

    I didn't know what 'bae' meant although I've seen in written.

    Laters! ;)

  5. One way to get rid of unwanted non-words is to use them. At least that works for me with my kids. Once the un-cool crowd adopts a word then the cool kids usually stop using it. An example is the word "chillax". I used it twice, maybe three times, and my kids told me in no uncertain terms to stop - never heard them use that term again!

  6. Yep, I've been on this topic lately, too, Pam. It's mental laziness, I think.

  7. I'm not around young people, so these aren't a problem for me. However there are two phrases my friends and co-worker use that I dislike. "Meh" and "FAIL." I especially hate when some of the grown men over 50 that I work with scream "FAIL!" really loud during a conversation or on-air (I work in radio). I know it has been around awhile (I blame the Dukes of Hazzard), but I hate the phrase "good ole boy". People think if they call some one this phrase, it will excuse that person's bad behavior or low morals. Also don't like that some of my co-workers are still using dumb slang terms coined by Paul Harvey and Rush Limbaugh Example: "Let's guesstimate who the biggest feminazi is."


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