Saturday, January 18, 2014

The Most Awful Knitting Idea Ever Conceived

I've been knitting since I was 10 years old, so trust me when I say I've come across some horrendous knitting patterns in that time, which includes the 1980s and 1990s decades, after all. Other retro blogs have also showcased bizarre 1970s-era fashions to knit ranging from dickies to bodysuits for men. 

But nothing could prepare me for the knitwear booklet cover above, that I found on the appropriately-named blog The Knitting Needle and the Damage Done

This is, without a doubt, the....Worst. Knitting. Idea. Ever.

Gee, do I want to begin with making the Klan hood? Or maybe one of the rapist starter kits? 

The ONLY conceivable idea I can dream up for wanting this knitting pattern would be to use Fun Fur yarn and knit yourself a Wolfman mask for Halloween. But even that's a stretch. And the saddest thing to me, as a knitter, was learning that the patterns were designed by Meg Swansen. That name may not mean much to the average person, but Swansen is the daughter of Elizabeth Zimmerman, a VERY talented knitwear designer and former columnist of Vogue Knitting, among other prestigious knitwear achievements!

I'm creeped out looking at it. I got even more creeped out when I realized the father looks like he's sticking his tongue out and that the kid in front is poking the apple pie with his finger. Wait a minute...what is the point of putting an apple pie in the shot? The marketing people must have figured putting a warm, homey apple pie would tone down the unsettling feeling and make us think this was a nice, average, all-American family. 

When they're not carrying out robberies and murders on the weekends. 


  1. LOL!!! Pam they're creepy as hell alright, but your text here cracked me up!

    But y'know, you did have a good idea about the Halloween mask thing, I can remember some pretty cold Halloweens where one of these would've been perfect for trick or treating!

  2. LOL - thanks, Doug! Glad you enjoyed it! I crack myself up sometimes...

    I could also see getting a Chewbacca mask made from one of these patterns...well, except for the KKK hood.

  3. What the h- were they thinking? At first I thought it was a joke, but I don't think it was... crazy and scary!

  4. Great if you are a skiier ... but soooo creepy!

  5. I don't know...after that Polar Vortex is looking a bit enticing!

    Oh, who am I kidding! I'd rather a polyester double-knit jumpsuit than to wear that out in public!

    I wonder how many people were turned off from knitting because of this pattern?

  6. EEEEEEEEEEEKK! Laughing and crying at the same time! Pam you find the craziest stuff! I love your blog! Thanks for all the laughs and great nostalgia.

  7. Ha ha! Thanks for the comments, everyone! So glad you enjoyed the post.

  8. Hat on lower left is a knitted version of the Wizard of Oz's Tinman head piece. See See how the collar part is ruched, somewhat? Except it's missing the curled handle from the Tinman's funnel hat.

  9. Just because that's supposed to be the Tin Man doesn't make it any less disturbing to me, or even remotely OK to knit/wear.

  10. Dave Madden and Russell Johnson die, the Captain and Tennille divorce... where are you?

  11. Actually, I think I would appreciate this while I am out shovelling out of yet another snowstorm and -30 C temperatures....LOL

  12. "and that the kid in front is poking the apple pie with his finger" I think that explanation makes me feel better? Cuz I thought it was a bad taxidermy of their orange tabby cat!


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