Friday, September 25, 2015

Young Don Johnson Was Ridiculously Smoking Hot


Male heterosexual readers of Go Retro, you may want to turn right around and go back to where you came from -- there's nothing for you here, unless photos of a young Melanie Griffith interest you, and the phrase "sexy piece of hunky man meat" doesn't make you uncomfortable. I'm going shamelessly superficial with this post, because it's all photos of Don Johnson before his Miami Vice days. 

With Johnson's new TV series, Blood and Oil, set to premiere on ABC Sunday night, I've been feeling very nostalgic for Miami Vice and have been itching to post about its place in television history. (From the promotion I've seen for Blood and Oil, older Don Johnson is still ridiculously hot, too.) However, years before Johnson made Sonny Crockett with his three day-old stubble a household name, he acted in an awful lot of movies and TV series -- most of them forgettable and some of them failed pilots, like the publicity shot above. I have no idea what show this was that featured Johnson as a police officer, but it may be time to take up speeding. He could pull me over at any time!

Full disclosure: Johnson was my number-one crush starting around the time I was 14 until I was about 16. Little did I know at the time that the man, in his own words, was "trying to set the land speed record" for consumption of drugs, alcohol, and women. Johnson even later admitted to accompanying a drug dealer friend on a deal -- the very type of bad dude his character on Miami Vice was trying to bust! Needless to say, it's a huge turnoff to me today but we're just going to sweep this minor, insignificant character flaw (ahem) under the rug and enjoy these early photos. I think they're proof that Donnie Wayne Johnson  -- with his long locks, beautiful eyes, and killer smile -- really should have been the pin-up centerfold star of every teen crush rag of the 1970s. I know he would have been on my wall for sure. 









Get lost, Melanie! For those who don't know, Johnson was 21 and Griffith was only 14 when they met on the set of a 1973 film called The Harrad Experiment that Griffith's mother, Tippi Hedren, was starring in with Johnson. I'd post screenshots but the film contains full frontal nudity...yep, you can see Don's johnson in all its glory (sorry, but how could I resist making such a perfect joke?) 



The previous two shots are from a bizarre 1971 film called Zachariah billed as "the first electric Western" which I wouldn't mind watching and reviewing for Go Retro sometime. 


This came from Don Johnson's Facebook page...it may have been taken when he was filming his first movie, 1969's The Magic Garden of Stanley Sweetheart. 

Here's some cute little photo I found from the same movie taken from an early interview with Don:



Just...stop it....Don, please. 

Well, you get the idea. If I post any more, my laptop may implode from the heat. Enjoy your weekend...Blood and Oil airs at 9 PM EST on ABC Sunday night. 

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