Bad Car Names
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I'm going to try to make it over to the New England Auto Expo next month. I've gone before and, even though I probably won't buy a new car for a few more years, I love looking at the new models, finding out what new features are available, sitting inside the vehicles, and inhaling that new car smell.
In anticipation, I thought it might be fun to come up with a list of the worst car names in history that I could think of. Certainly not the most unique retro post, but a road that's worth revisiting. You see, a car's name is everything - it's the brand and has the power to make or break a legacy. Unfortunately, there have been a few instances where automobile marketers dropped the ball big time when coming up with a good name. Get that foghorn ready:
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1. Ford Probe
A painful name - in more ways then one. I don't know about you, but anything that sounds like something that would be inserted into any of my bodily orifices during a medical examination or procedure is definitely a turnoff to me. What was Ford thinking when they came up with this gem? Shame, because the car itself was a sporty little 80s number.
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2. Ford Escort
If the car had actually been sleek and sexy, Ford might have gotten away with such a scandalous name. But they didn't, which makes it all the more laughable. I think the Ford Companion would've sounded better and less like a forbidden listing in the yellow pages.
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3. MG Midget
A real head scratcher. MGs were already unbearably tiny cars. How was the Midget series any different? And saying that you drive a Midget just sounds weird.
4. Dodge Diplomat
Despite a long production run (from 1977 to 1989) I've never heard of anyone who owned a Diplomat, and I'm not sure that those who did really did feel all that more important. Check out the vintage ad I've posted above - shuttle diplomacy? A misguided advertising attempt to make a soccer mom feel like she's royalty or something.
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEfoTvOv6AZL-4Bs8IHdvajPPjK5tVqacEh8h7mRIatPXK8FS1JGCGem-UzsQEZvr04YY2bIXYgxLUTuHIPWcDvhEnz27LoRB36e5kMvP91zDMLxOFgMYvxFSlOCA04OiQgo-c/s400/Gremlin.jpg)
5. AMC Gremlin
It's cute, but you mustn't let it near bright sunlight, get water on it, or feed it after midnight.
6. Hummer
Yep. No explanation needed.
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7. Subaru Brat
Who wants to drive a brat? It was really an acronym for "Bi-drive Recreational All-Terrain Transporter." Gotcha. Couldn't they have come up with something cooler...like KITT?
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8. Renault Le Car
Thinking of Renault's unoriginal moniker reminds me of when Madonna released an album titled "Music." And the car was so le fugly, I don't think even Inspector Clousteau would've been caught driving one.
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9. Toyota Estima Lucida G Luxury Joyful Canopy
I'm cheating here - this van was actually called the Toyota Previa in the U.S. It's "real" name, as coined by the Japanese, sounds like one of those silly show dog names.
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10. Ford Edsel
A bad car name list would not be complete without the king. The Edsel proved that naming a car after one of your offspring was not always a good idea, especially if their name sounds like a hiccup.
If I missed any interesting ones, let me know.
You forgot the Pinto! ;) I love checking out all of the new cars as well. My first love might be fashion but it's followed closely by cars!
ReplyDeletePersonally I would never drive a Sunfire or Sunburst - fire and burst should never reallly be part of a car's name
ReplyDeleteand I never really liked the name Hornet either - I don't think I'd drive one because of that name.
I've always thought the popular British car the Morris Minor was a really bad name. It's kind of meek and unassuming. It's quite a nice car, shame about the name.
ReplyDeleteMy Dad had one of those station wagons with the wood paneling when I was a tyke.
ReplyDeleteMs. B - yes, I think maybe they were going for a junior version of the Mustang with the Pinto!
ReplyDeleteMy Little Corner - I've always thought the Sunfire was a really cute car but would agree on the name. The Pontiac Fiero really did have a problem catching on fire.
Richard - never heard of the Minor, but I'll check it out!
Jen - ah, gotta love those 70s station wagons with the fake wood paneling. I actually think wood paneling is really cool now.
oh my goodness, my parents had a little white ford escort when I was little :-)
ReplyDeleteI started to post a comment, but it got WAY too long, so I made a blog post about it instead:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.gadgetspage.com/cars/the-dodge-diplomat-was-a-very-cool-car.html
Sorry, Go Retro, the Dodge Diplomat DID make me feel like royalty. I loved that car and it breaks my heart that I don't have a photo of it.
I always wondered about the Mercury Merkur as if sounding foreign made it more appealing.
ReplyDeleteI also got a kick out of two names the superior marketing staff at Daihatsu came up with.
1. the Rocky. That just begs to be used as a negative headline into how rough the vehicle rides.
2. the Charade. Why would they name a car after something that represents falseness?
As in “I sold you this lemon of a car using a clever Charade”.
My brother had a Gremlin and he loves that car more than his girlfriend.
ReplyDelete