With fall weather about to be upon us, I'm getting in the mood to knit again. I happened to grab a Fall 1995 issue of Vogue Knitting from my mother's archives and was surprised to be reminded of just how God-awful fashion from this decade was. If you thought the bulky sweaters, big shoulders and gawdy patterns of the 80s were long gone by the mid-90s, then someone forgot to give that particular memo to the yarn and pattern manufacturers that advertised in this issue. Ironically, the actual Vogue patterns in the book aren't all that bad - just the advertising. It isn't that often that I cover much from the 90s decade, so crank up your Salt-N-Pepa CD and brace yourself.
I never thought it was possible to ruin mohair yarn until I saw this ad. The first two women are doing a pretty good job pretending they actually enjoy wearing ridiculously oversized fuzzy sweaters with animals and farm landscaping on them, but not that blonde model. Her smile is not quite as perky as the others. She looks like she's ready to kill the booking agent who put her literally into this fuzzy mess. I wouldn't recommend wearing any of these sweaters on a date, especially the Crazy Cat Lady pattern. They'll kill an erection faster than you can say "Elena Kagan."
More like trend enders.
Matching couples sweaters are bad enough, but "Mommy and me 4ever" matching sweaters is a little creepy, as in "Mommy plans on keeping you with her forever and ever."
They forgot "absolutely nucking futs."
More like Oh, Brother. Who the heck wants to go stepping out looking like a member of the British royal family, circa 1982?